7 Ways to Find Out Who You Are
"The questions you ask yourself daily will define who you are and the life you lead."
Ultimately, your future is a byproduct of your questions, not your answers.
Most people avoid the questions that possess the power to change their life.
Asking the hard questions is like putting your hands in the dirt. And people don't want to get muddy. They don't want their pristine white shirt to get any stains.
But if you commit to digging deep into who you are, you will eventually strike oil. And we all deserve to touch that liquid gold. (Your own definition of success, fulfillment, and greatness.)
There are three questions that we should ask ourselves daily.
- Where am I right now? (Financially, Physically, Spiritually, professionally)
- Who am I right now? (How do you see yourself? Your current identity)
- Where am I going? ( Who will you become? Your future identity)
These three high level questions give birth to seven deeper questions that expose who we are in the present.
It is up to us to change that narrative based on how we move forward from these questions. Making micro adjustments on a consistent basis as we inch closer to our greatest selves (A never-ending moving target).
Check out the 7 statements that define "Who you are right now." The operative term in that sentence is "Right now." Meaning, this is only your current state. You have the power to make that paradigm shift at any moment.
This mental exercise will help you reach a deeper state of self-awareness. Enhancing your mindfulness and clarity. It hopefully is a trigger for a heightened level of intention and self-discipline. Which will ultimately build a snowball of momentum that will roll into an avalanche of personal greatness.
The 7 Ways To Know Who You Are
1. You are what you repeatedly do. You are your habits.
The beliefs about your future are a direct result of your behaviors from today.
If you train everyday, you will believe you are an athlete. An athlete who will eventually take on the identity of a champion. But it was the act of behaving like an athlete that sparked that belief.
If you are lazy everyday, you will believe that you are unreliable. A sloth. Someone who has no motivation. Someone who can't count on themselves Eventually, taking on the identity of being a failure. Again, it was the act of laziness that molded your belief system.
As Aristotle says, "Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. We are what we repeatedly do."
So as you reflect on who you are right now? I encourage you to go even deeper.
- Are my daily habits today in line with the future I want to design for myself and my family?
- If I want to be wealthy, why am I wasting so much time watching TV?
- If I want to be shredded, why am constantly eating food that pollutes my body?
- If I want to be productive, why are the majority of my hours filled "dead" time?
- If I want to be in a relationship where I am valued, why am I allowing anyone to treat me any less?
How we respond to these questions will change our narrative. Giving us an alternative ending. But it all starts with our habits. What do you repeatedly do?
2. You are what you consume.
Be very aware of your mental diet.
What are you consuming on a daily basis?
Is it polluting your mind or is it sharpening it?
Is it in small doses?
Is it in moderation?
Is it in bulk?
Is it becoming addictive?
- The books, articles, shows, and media you consume will define the next 5 years of your life.
- List the things you consume on a daily basis? How is it impacting your life?
- Are you even consuming any content that is pushing you forward, or is it simply masking your pain. Distracting you from what you really need to do.
I guarantee if you take a good look at the content you are consuming, it will give you profound insight on what you value, what you believe, who you want to become.
3. You are your circle.
As Jim Rohn says "You are the average of the five people you speak to most."
Have you ever taken the time to really list out who those people are? If so, how do those people live their lives? How do they approach their work? How do they treat others? What is their overall mindset? What are their fears?
Because you are an extension of your circle. Make sure it is a circle of excellence, not a cage of mediocrity.
To be world class, you need to surround yourself with world class people.
After all, you can't become a wolf, if you are running with sheep.
Make sure you are running with people who are faster than you, or constantly pushing you from behind. Because you will never get better if you are always the fastest person in the race.
- Does your circle inspire you, or do you have to inspire them?
- Do they challenge you? Do they tell you the brutal truth? The type of truth you need to shape you as a person.
Find a circle of individuals who inspire you, elevate you and push you to a level of discomfort. Consider it a board of personal board of directors that guide you as the chairman of your life.
4. You are your reputation.
It takes 10 years to build a reputation and 1 moment to ruin it. - Warren Buffet.
The truth is if your reputation consists of qualities like fake, unreliable, lazy, arrogant, fearful, then it is probably true.
On the other side of that coin, if your reputation is made up of words like loyal, disciplined, mentally tough. humble, integrity, then it is probably true.
Your past behavior creates a narrative that the world around you is reading. It is telling a story about who you currently are.
Have you asked yourself what your reputation is within your circle, your family, and your community?
Who are the people who know you best? Who has seen you at your worst and at your best? Who really knows all the different sides of you? Who can judge you objectively, and their words have merit?
After all, "Everyone is not a hater or a critic. Maybe you just don't want to hear the truth about who you are right now? Maybe you should try listening to the universe a little bit. It might be trying to tell you something."
Consider this exercise.
If you asked 10 people who know you intimately different capacities, how would they describe you in 5 words? What qualities would they say? Both good and bad?
Ask what your reputation is from your
- business partners
A handful of their answers will overlap. It will give you insight on who you have been, who you are right now, and who you will become. Unless you decide to start changing that narrative.
5. You are what you believe.
"The man who says he can and the man who says he can't are both right." - Socrates
This one is so glaringly obvious that I don't need to dive into much detail. But I will say this, most people think that self-belief comes first. In my humble opinion, that is not true at all. At least, not in my world. Belief comes in third place. Directly behind, 1) What you repeatedly do (habits) and 2) What you consume. (Content)
Why is that? It's because the "WORK" is what shapes your belief. And what you consume creates your belief system. It's the "Process" that molds you into being "Prosperous."
I never believed I was a CEO until I started acting like one. Producing like one. Conducting myself in a manner where people would follow me. Living in such a way that I would follow myself.
I never believed I was an artist until I started creating like one. Writing for hours on end, despite feeling inadequate and lost.
And as I said before, I never thought I was an athlete until I started training like one and eating like one.
The work happens before the belief. The work is what makes you believe that you can accomplish anything...
How can you believe in "You" or get others to believe in "You", if you haven't even proved anything to yourself. You haven't done the work.
We already know that what you believe will determine how you live your life. If you believe you are mediocre, you will live a mediocre life. if you believe that you are great, you will live a great life. But always recognize that your behavior shapes your self-belief.
So if you want to start believing that you are a warrior, I suggest you start becoming disciplined like one.
6. You are your idols
"You are an extension of the people you admire and attempt to emulate. Essentially, becoming a combination of styles from the ones who inspired you, mixed with your signature touch."
The greats of today have all stolen from the greats from yesterday. Then they add their signature style to take things to greater heights. That is how originality and evolution is born.
There is a great quote that goes something like this, "There isn't much originality in this world, just a slight twist on the already existing."
My point is, the person you are today is an extension of your parents, your mentors, your idols, or anyone you felt like really listening to.
We are all influenced by people who inspired us. For example, let's use someone who loves basketball.
If you were a point guard, and grew up watching Isiah Thomas, Stockton, and Gary Payton, there is a strong likelihood that you tried to implement their styles into your game.
Creating a melting pot of excellence. In this case, Isaiah (Dribbling maestro and killer), Stockton (Assist guru), GP (Defensive Genius). Naturally, you would integrate your personal strengths into that mix while considering the advantages and disadvantages of your genetics.
The same can be said for any field, industry, or genre of music. Just look at Dave Chappelle who is a combination of Richard Pryor and George Carlin. Dave is the GOAT in my opinion.
Take what is great about your idols, but also beware of where they are marginal and weak.
My question to you is, "Who are your idols and what qualities do they have?"
- What exactly are you taking from them?
- What do you learn from them from a skill standpoint?
- What do you learn from them from a character standpoint?
- What do you learn from their past mistakes?
Create the ultimate version of yourself by combining the greatest virtues, rituals, and skills from the ones who inspire you. And never forget to keep your individuality at the forefront of that mixture.
7. You are your failures and triumphs.
"Money and success only expose who you really are. Pain and suffering only expose who you really are."
How have you conducted yourself in both scenarios? After all, some people have trouble managing their ego when they are successful. Others have trouble keeping their composure during high pressure situations.
Based on your history, who are you during those moments?
Your response to failure and success sits pretty high on my Mount Rushmore of qualities, because we all want to root for the person who stays humble regardless of their stature. We all admire the person who maintains their self-belief after falling flat on his or her face.
JK Rowling (author of Harry Potter) was initially a billionaire, but no longer on the Forbes billionaire list because she donated a significant amount of her wealth to philanthropy. This is an obvious example of keeping her eyes locked on the things that matter most to her, helping others in need.
Colonel Sanders (Founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken) had a history of failed business ventures before hitting it big with KFC after age 60. His belief of being a game changing entrepreneur never wavered despite his previous track record.
Your reaction to success in failure is your opportunity to let your character shine through during times of temptation and strife.
Ask yourself, what failures and triumphs have molded who you are today?
Who were you before those moments of success and suffering?
Who were you after those moments?
Who do you choose to be now?