It's good to be tough on yourself. You are your own accountability partner, but sometimes we can be too tough. I just want to let you know that if you are working towards a better life for yourself, that's not an easy thing to do, and it's ok to be proud of yourself. Too often we look to others to validate our successes. Step back and evaluate and recognize that you are getting better even if it's hard to see. You know it about yourself. We must stop seeking validation from others, although you can get some perspective and know that you are moving forward.
Don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to your own past. I struggle with this sometimes. Sometimes it feels like I'm not making a difference or I am not doing enough, but I look at where I was a year ago and I can measure that growth and that change. You have to take time to recognize that. Sometimes we can look so far into our futures and where we want to be and that discourages us. You may not be at your destination but you are further than where you started from.
A perfect person doesn't exist, but a progressive person can exist. Don't get down if you aren't where you want to be. Where you want to be will be great but what's more important is being away from somewhere you know you can no longer be. Whether that's a mindset, a bad relationship, an addiction- whatever it is- if you aren't there anymore, I am proud of you. That's not easy. You have to keep believing day by day and I see that. It's not one simple choice to be better, it's you choosing that all day everyday.
Something that really changes my life are the small realizations. One of those is that it's not about success, it's about the attempt. You get credit for the try. Every time you try to better yourself you pick up new habits, you pick up new awareness, and you grasp the truth that you can do it a little more each time. Accomplishment is great, but when I judge failure and success, I don't judge failure by me not accomplishing something. I may not be ready to accomplish that yet.
When I first started speaking, I used to judge my failure by how well I spoke, but really, failure to me would be me never trying. Success to me is not always accomplishment, it's how you keep coming back to better yourself. Not everything you do is going to be the best thing you've done, but to continue that journey will always make you better. If you keep coming back and challenging yourself, even if you "fail," but you continue on the trajectory of a better life, that sounds like success to me. Failure is to never try, success is in the attempt. You got this.
It all starts with you.
