Just because you're going through something doesn't mean there is something wrong with you.
Moving on is hard. Don't feel like there is a problem with you for feeling emotion. I know this doesn't always help, but it's important to know that you are not going through this alone. I go through periods in my life where I get stuck on my past or people from my past, and it seems like I'll never feel better about it. I don't want to be insensitive toward anyone, but I need you guys to know one thing: you have a choice. There are those that will allow these struggles to break them forever, and honestly, I get it. Life is hard. There is a lot out here to trip you up and destroy your sense of worth. I'm not going to pretend like there aren't real and legitimate things out there that can take you down for good if you are not careful; however, I think I've noticed something -- there are two types of people in this world. There are those who lose things and end up losing themselves, and there are those who lose things and (ironically) end up finding themselves along the way.
When these terrible times come along, it's important for you to remember that you are in control of the meanings. What does this bad thing mean for my life? Do I have to have a terrible time because I lost this one thing? You can tell yourself, "I refuse to program my life with meanings that are going to lead me into a depression. I refuse to program my life with things that set my life back." You have to choose to see the light. When bad things are happening or when you're losing things, you have to find meaning in the moment. Ask yourself, "What is this going to build in my life?"
People consistently ask me how they can move on. This doesn't have to just be for relationships. It can be for jobs, friends, or even family members. I'm gonna break this down with the three A's. The first A is Awareness. A lot of times we are not aware of what we're experiencing emotionally -- we don't know what's going on with us. When we're not aware of ourselves and how we feel in a situation, it can be really easy for people to change us or take advantage of us. The second A is Acceptance. It's hard to accept that things are over. If you accept that a relationship or a job is over, you can feel like you are lost, but that's not necessarily true. The old you will lose out so that the new you can come forward. In other words, it will change you, but that doesn't have to be a negative thing. A lot of times, we tie our significance to the things that we lose, so without them we feel worthless. In reality, we shouldn't have been tying our worth to outside things in the first place. The third A is Affiliation. Some of us are tying a painful situation or person to a happy memory in the past. If you are trying to actively get over someone, you will be focused on them. Instead of focusing on them, you've got to focus on you. Work on you. Start affiliating mentally with yourself.
It all starts with you.
