I want to talk to you guys today about healing from pain and moving on from the hurt we have in our lives. I get questions about moving on from pain all of the time. It is something that I come back to over and over again. As I said above, there is no cheat code to heal from pain. A lot of people come to me and they want to know how to feel better right away. They want to know how to just forget about the pain, but it just does not work that way. Now, having said that I do have some advice for you. This is not the end all be all list of steps that work every time but this is a list of things that have helped me in the past and this advice has helped others in your life.
The first is that you will never be able to heal from anything in your life if you continue to stay in the environment or with the person or in the same state of mind that hurt you in the first place. Now I want to acknowledge that grief is a real and necessary thing. It is important to grieve and not just stuff things down, but some of us become very comfortable in the sadness that we find ourselves in after something in our life hurts us. Sadness and depression can be a very comfortable and romantic feelings to stay consumed by even after we have grieved. So I think it is important to remember that if you are serious about healing from the hurt that has happened to you in the past then you have to actually commit to leaving the sadness once the grieving is over. Being sad is fine, but sadness has to end just like everything else. Eventually, you have to get back up and get back out there into the world. If you stay stuck in that world of hurt then you will have no chance of healing from that mind state.
Another thing is that you have to really decide that you WANT to change. If you are really not serious about changing and healing from your pain then you won't be able to because it is not easy and it takes time. You will find this with other people in your life as well. You can not force anybody else to change. Change is a decision and you have to decide whether or not it is truly important to you to change. Nobody else can make that decision for you.
Lastly, I want to mention that change takes fortitude and determination. Fortitude comes when motivation is lacking. A lot of people will have small spurts of wanting to be better and fix up their lives, but that motivation will be fleeting. That is why people decide that they are going to work out every day or do some crazy diet and then they give up after a week. Motivation will not always be there. So if you really want to heal then you have to be ready to push yourself to do what is best for you even when the motivation isn't there.
It all starts with you.
