I was doing Pilates recently when I realized something important.

I wasn't focusing on my Pilates—I was focusing on what I was doing wrong. I was looking at the negatives, and I was paying too much attention to the imperfections in my form. That negativity ended up controlling my whole session, and made me view my training in a dangerous, toxic way.

In life, we are often ignorant of how far we've come.

We tell ourselves we should be stronger, or run faster, or work harder; but ignore the fact that we're showing up. We ignore the fact that we're strengthening ourselves, and we refuse to reconcile our showing up with the fact that not every day is going to be perfect. I think that's true in Pilates training, and I think that's true in life. When people leave, that loss tends to be all we can focus on. When we lose opportunities or fail, we refuse to see the silver lining. Loss is inevitable—each of us will lose relationships, opportunities, and jobs. Today's message is about focusing on the strength instead of the pain.

It's tough when people walk out of our lives. I get it—it hurts. Often, it hurts so much that we don't understand how them leaving will benefit us. Often, we can't see how people walking out of our lives will make us stronger. It's time for you to redirect your focus, and control your perspective. I've shared this message time and time again, because of how important I think it is—your perspctive is your power. I'm not saying you have to ignore negativity as though it doesn't exist. Instead, I'm telling you that focusing too much on the negative will make it seem as though there are no positives. Why is that so bad?

Because it's unrealistic.

We're all going through pain. Now, as difficult as it might seem, I want you to think critically about yours. What in your life hurts? That's an easy question, but I'll follow up with a harder one. How is that hurt making you stronger? If you've been following me for a while, you know that my hardest times are what built my strongest faith. If it wasn't for my hard times and struggle, I wouldn't be who I am today. If I had stayed focused on everything that was going wrong, I would be in a mental prison right now.

I get it—pain is hard to get through. There are things in life that will hurt all of us, and there are parts of life that will never stop sucking. Stop focusing on the pain so much—instead, it's time for you to focus on the positives, and see how far you've come.

It all starts with you.