Love Yourself First
Stop getting in relationships you aren't ready for.
Far too often, I watch people start dating again before they're ready—I see people who haven't even started recovering from their last relationship, and then I see those same people getting into new ones. Let me tell you something.
It's not a competition.
You don't have to show your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife that you're over them. Stop putting a band-aid over your wounds—disinfect yourself first. Don't just set your mind then forget about your trauma—deal with your pain, because if you don't, all you'll end up doing is passing that pain along to someone else. Let me ask you something—does your heart hurt? Have you fully healed from the situation that hurt you, or are you bottling your negative emotions? More often than not, failed relationships leave us feeling lost and in pain. After all, being with anyone requires a huge investment of trust, time, and energy. No matter how badly things ended, at one point, you saw serious potential in that person, which is why breakups always hurt—they're the death of that potential, and the death of that hope.
Listen to me—don't go on and date before you're ready, because all you'll do is pass on your pain to someone else. Don't use someone for the temporary relief they give you. Instead, realize that you have a responsibility not only to anyone you date, but also yourself. It's your responsibility to heal before you date, because trust me—the world has enough toxicity as it is. In my own life, I've known certain people who get in and out of relationships far too regularly. I've known hurt people who are too stubborn to heal, and I've watched those people dig deeper holes for themselves and hurt those around them. Don't get caught up in that cycle. Don't pretend to love someone before you've learned to love yourself, and don't get in relationships you aren't ready for. Don't commit to taking care of someone before you've even taken care of yourself, and don't use your pain as an excuse to hurt others. First, learn to be by yourself.
Learn how to heal, and then do it! Find peace before you date someone seriously, because if you don't have peace yourself, how could you ever bring peace into someone else's life? If you're toxic to yourself, what makes you think you'll have a healthy relationship with someone else? At the end of the day, healing is your responsibility. Stop putting it off, and start breaking the cycle.
It all starts with you.