When someone hurts you once, that hurt is something that has been done to you. When you get hurt again and again and again by the same person, at a certain point, it becomes something that you're doing to yourself. It's so important for you to acknowledge when someone is hurting you and not looking to change or showing remorse for the situation. When this is the case, you have to let go of that situation and leave. Stop holding on to what causes the pain.
So many people will tell me that it's important to give people a chance and let them improve, but the problem is that most of the time, these people don't want to change. You can't make someone change who is happy with who they are. If they don't want to change, your only healthy option is to leave. When you stay in that situation, you are keeping yourself helpless, but you don't have to be.
After you choose to leave, which I hope you do if you're being hurt by someone on repeat, you don't have to actively move on from them. I know that sounds crazy. I'm aware that it sounds backwards, and you're probably thinking, "Trent, that doesn't make any sense. Of course I should actively move on from them!" Here's the thing -- if you're focused on moving on from someone, then that probably means you're focused on that someone. Instead of focusing on moving away from someone, focus on moving towards yourself. Focus on your future and your individual journey and connection with yourself. Stop checking their social media to see if they're doing alright without you. Stop trying to prove that you've moved on to yourself and to your friends on social media. That just shows other people that you're still thinking about the person who hurt you.
Lastly, you have to forgive the person you left. All too often, I see people say that they could never forgive someone for the pain and the hurt they caused. First of all, I'm sure anyone reading this post has done their fair share of hurtful and bad things. Maybe you haven't done something as bad as what was done to you, but you have done bad things. If you're a believer, you have been forgiven time and time again. It's time for you to spread a little bit of that forgiveness yourself. The problem is that if you don't forgive someone, you can never properly heal. You may move on from the person, but you will never move on from the hurt without forgiveness. Keeping hate in your heart is like poisoning yourself and expecting the other person to die. You have to forgive and truly let go of the people who have hurt you in your past. Hate will bind you to someone, and for you to heal, you have to break the ties and let go. Truly let go.
It all starts with you.
