Set Fair Expectations
Nobody owes us loyalty. When it comes along and it's genuine, you'll know. Some of us keep around friends that we keep giving to in hopes that they will stick around, but when the benefits stop, so does the friendship. You feel me? Here's what I want to talk about today- Expectation. It's very very important that you know why it is that you do what you do for people. Know the "Why."
Hear this: there is a big difference between expectation and a standard. Think about it this way --- if you have a friend that you are building up constantly because you feel like you need to compensate to get some support back from them, you aren't really supporting them and they aren't really supporting you. Y'all are both just playing the game. Now look at it this way, if you have a standard in your life that you build up your friends and only keep friends that build you up as well, you will only attract the kind of friends that have nothing but support for you- that's a standard. Like I said at the beginning, nobody owes you loyalty but also you don't owe anyone a spot in your life. Friends should bring peace not problems.
Now let's talk about unfair expectations. If you got a new job tomorrow and they explained nothing to you about what you were supposed to do, you wouldn't even know where to start. What if then they reprimanded you about not showing up on time, but you were never told when you were supposed to? To be trapped under the threat of unfair expectations would get frustrating to you very quickly. So now let's take that example and apply it to a friendship or a relationship. This is why it is so important to set clear standards in your life and only allow for those who instinctually have those same standards. Then, once you have the right people in your life you will need to set clear expectations between you and them so that they know the rules of being a part of your life. This should not be an issue to those who respect you- it's a reality, it's just understood. It's like if you enter into a business agreement with someone and they start stealing money from you, then that business deal is over, period. Same thing with relationships, if they are there to be a positive force in your life then you will both succeed together but if not, the deal is done. It's rehab time, you got this.
It all starts with you.