As a parent and as a coach, when I am working with kids, one of the things I constantly make clear to them is this: what you work for is what you earn. When you're a kid, you have entitlement built into you. If you want something, you expect that it should be yours, but more and more as you get older, you begin to recognize that you have to work for everything you want out of life. You want a house? You have to put in the work to buy it. You want a new car? You have to put in the work. You want a solid relationship? You have to put in the work and the work wont stop there. All these things will require maintenance which means, you guessed it - more work.
The world doesn't owe you anything. Too many parents continue to prove to their kids that the world will provide them with everything they want by showering them with everything they feel entitled to. I think this is doing kids a disservice. Now don't get me wrong- I'm not talking about treating kids harshly, that's a different matter. I'm talking about loving critiques and honest expectations and that goes further than just with kids. Many adults don't set honest expectations with themselves, and then they are disappointed when the world doesn't provide what they think they are owed.
When it comes to coaching, and I've seen this first hand, when a coach removes a kid from the game and parents get upset with the coach, they are teaching their kids to be disrespectful. Sometimes a child needs to learn that what's best for the team may not necessarily feel like what's best for the individual child. When I was a kid, if I disrespected authority, I would be set straight immediately. If I was in the right and a coach needed guidance, my mother or father would respectfully approach the coach and offer that correction. We live in a culture today though where kids are learning disrespect from their parents and not respecting the authority of teachers and coaches. What happens when these kids grow up and realize that the world doesn't work this way? Entitlement is a dangerous game.
Parents out there - I just want to give you this message- trust in the coaches and teachers in your child's life that are teaching your kid to respect authority. It will help them in the long run. We think our kids are everything and that's good, I get that but at some point we need to realize that our children are not above correction. It used to take a village to raise a child and society isn't like that anymore.
I salute teachers and coaches out there because it's not an easy job. I tell the teachers and coaches in my child's life "if my kid steps out of line, I want you to correct them." Parents out there need to know that we can set our kids up for success by allowing them to be comfortable with failure, comfortable with respecting authority. You know this, and kids need to know too- you want something you have to put in the work.
It all starts with you.
