There are so many people in my inbox that have been telling me how close they are to the end of their rope. They’re telling me that they are close to suicide because of the situations that their loyalty has lead them too. Loyalty is everything but loyalty can also destroy everything. I need you to hear this. Don’t let your loyalty blind you.

Always remember this- nothing can hurt your life without your permission. Nothing gets to stay in your life without your permission. You are the one that is in the driver’s seat. You are the one that can choose to let people in or keep people out. You are the one that can choose to stay in that situation or leave it. You are in control. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s true. What you tolerate is what you deserve. If you want to get more out of your life, you have to stop tolerating things that don’t protect your peace. Stop tolerating things and people that aren’t loyal to you. Stop tolerating things that bring chaos to your life.

We have the wrong idea about loyalty. Loyalty is not staying in a situation that you know you are not being respected in. Loyalty to things, situations or people that are abusive, is not loyalty. Loyalty is not staying in a situation that you’ve seen a toxic pattern from, that’s called breaking your own heart. When I learned this for myself, it changed me forever.

Now I am not talking about people only, this applies to your situations, and habits too. What habits are you loyal to that are only causing pain in your life? Drinking? Dating apps? Sleeping in? Not eating healthy? Not working out? What habits are you committed to that are breaking your own heart? Are you talking down to yourself? Are you determined to not believe in yourself? How far does your ill-given loyalty go? And when are you going to be sick and tired of being sick and tired?

I know people who have literally driven themselves to depression for the things they are loyal to. I know people who have been loyal to a one way street even when it was headed off of a cliff. I’m not telling you to avoid giving people a second chance but you should know that the more chances that you give people, the less they respect you. Stop being so loyal to the things that don’t deserve your loyalty. Stop being so loyal that you lose yourself.

It all starts with you.