Three Ways to Guard Your Relationships
There are plenty of reasons relationships fail.
No one in a relationship or friendship wants that relationship or friendship to fail, but far too often, it fails anyway. Today's message is about why that is—because even though we all go through loss, some of it is definitely preventable. Reason number one is because there's no communication. I'll take it a step further and say there's no connection—there's less effort and more pride. One party doesn't invest in the other, or neither party tries hard enough. We've all been guilty of it at some time or other, because let's face it—relationships aren't easy. That goes for family relationships, friendships, and any other type of relationship you can think of. Relationships aren't easy because they require maintenance. They require showing up, and they require sacrifice. That lack of effort often ends up destroying relationships, because connection is the oxygen love subsists off of.
Communication and connection are hard, but if you want that person in your life, you're going to have to put in work.
Are you going out of your way to make sure your partner feels understood? Are you really being as patient as you should be? No one wants to admit to toxic behavior, so I'll save all of us the trouble. If you're reading this right now, that means you're human. All humans make mistakes, and there are times in all of our lives wherein we could have been better partners, friends, and family members.
The second reason relationships fail is because people are selfish. Togetherness requires compromise, and it requires sacrifice of one's own time, energy, and resources. Often, people enter relationships for the benefits of being in one when they have no intention of making any sacrifices. Instead of an equal partnership, those people are ready to leech off of others. Selfishness is the second reason to fail, and it's something we can all be better at avoiding. Remember, selfishness will never create togetherness.
The third and last reason relationships fail is a lack of support. Too many people operate like opponents when they should be operating like teammates. I see it every day, because it happens far too frequently. Instead of helping bring their partner up in the world, many people drag their partners down with them. All of us have been in relationships like that at least once—we've met people who expect us to change everything about ourselves but refuse to do anything differently themselves. We meet people and think, "Wow, this person is going to help me build my dreams." The next thing we know, the opposite is happening, and it feels like we're trapped in a prison.
We all need to try a little harder, and we all need to be more honest with ourselves about the kinds of relationships we're in. At the end of the day, it's impossible to do away with all loss. However, with self-awareness, patience, and maturity, we can all foster great relationships.
It all starts with you.