I try to never judge someone until I can understand what it’s like to be in their shoes. We are all going through something, some untold battle or unspeakable internal fight. I know that I talk about how the opinion of others should hold no weight in your life but the truth of the matter is that it does, no matter how hard you fight it. On top of that, the things that you say to others will undoubtedly affect them as well. This is why it is so important to make sure that you understand before you judge.

Obviously, this is easier said than done. I know this all too well. I’m guilty of spinning someone’s actions or words into my own narrative and assuming that I know their intentions when the truth of the matter is that I don’t and I never will. Not really, and truly will I ever understand the plight of another person’s situation. Every nuanced feeling from the past and every fear of the future. However, I can try.

We live in a day and age where it is so easy to spit out a foul opinion on the internet and move on like it never happened. It’s so easy to nonchalauntly put someone down in the space of twenty seconds or less and instantly forget about this “hypothetical human” on the other side of the social media wall. I see it every day. I’ve got haters that won’t ever stop and I have learned to understand that what they are saying has a lot more to do with them than it does to do with me. I have also learned to empathize with the convenience of the modern day critique and how to soften my heart to punch-thrower.

We think we know people but often, it’s the people who are closest to us that we misunderstand the most. Think about your family, your parents, and your friends. Do you really know them? Do you know what gets them up in the morning? Do you know the hurt that they’ve carried since their first defeat? Or the hurdles they’ve internally overcome to be where they are today? It might surprise you to really think about that concept. Sometimes we avoid thinking about the depth of another person.

We like people to be simple. Uncomplicated. Easy-going. This is not the case with anyone. I know for me, sometimes it feels like I have enough troubles of my own and so it hurts to feel and empathize with another person, but I am a better person when I do.

I want you to challenge yourself to take a moment, just one moment per day, to really try and understand someone. Maybe it will be easier to start with someone that you love. A friend, or family member perhaps.

Down the line, it will get easier and one day you’ll find yourself loving your enemy for the struggle they are facing, and stepping onto their side to fight the trials of the human condition together. Stay hungry.

It all starts with you.