We all have voids in our lives. There are always things that will make us feel incomplete. For a lot of us we try to find other people to fill that void. We get into relationships just to feel complete. We do not do it out of love and respect for the other person but just because we need to feel whole. The problem is, when we rely on other people to make us feel complete then we put way too much pressure on that person. We should come to the relationship already complete. Let me be clear here. I do not believe that you have to be complete and perfect before you can be in a good relationship. First of all, you will never be complete and perfect, but you can be independent. You can get to the point where you feel comfortable on your own, and at that point you will be ready to be in a relationship that can go the distance.
A lot of relationships fail because there is way too much pressure on one person to make the other person feel a certain way about themselves. The way someone makes you feel in a relationship should be a feature of the relationship, not a requirement. It is the times that you say things like "I love you" just to hear it back that you are putting too much pressure on the relationship. You should be pushing yourself to say things like "I love you" because you really mean it and you really want the other person to know that you care about them.
The second thing that causes the downfall of relationships is improper communication. Good communication is built on trust because when you can't trust someone in a relationship then you will always be on guard around them and that also puts too much pressure on the relationship. Too many of us spend so much time on our phones when we get home and we never spend time really connecting and communicating with our partners so we never really have the opportunity to build that trust like we should. We tell ourselves that we trust the other person and maybe we even tell other people that we trust our partner, but real trust takes time. You have to build up trust like you build up muscle. You can't just say that you have strong muscles. You have to work on them and build them up everyday little by little to eventually see some real progress. In the same way you have to spend time really connecting with your partner and communicating with them on a daily basis to build trust that can go the distance.
So, if you want to be in a relationship that won't fail, then you need to work on being independent, and focus on communication and trust.
It all starts with you.
