Why You Aren't Happy
Happiness is fleeting. We all try to chase it, and it will never be enough. Time after time, we reach the top of a mountain only to find that there are bigger and better mountains to climb. You have the partner you want. We have to focus on what we already have, even when it seems easiest to focus on the next best thing.
It may take hard times to help you appreciate what you have. Too many times we judge our lives based on social media. You are not less because you are comparing yourself to someone online. They may have great success online, but that does not mean that they have success in the real world. I'm not immune to it either. Here are the three things I ask myself:
- "Do I know their life?" The answer is always "no." Even if you know someone personally, you'll never know their internal struggles. There was a time when, to the world, I looked like I had it all together, but internally I was falling apart in 2015. People saw a photoshopped version of my life.
- "How does this help your life?" How is someone else's journey going to help your life? Sometimes you find inspiration in other people's lives or journeys, but be careful not to let that turn into jealousy. It's easy to do. It doesn't help your life one. single. bit. The path they walk is their own, and yours belongs to you alone. Focus on appreciation. Focus on your life, your family, your friends, and community. Your energy will shift from comparison to self work. This is a practice, which means it doesn't happen overnight. It's a muscle you have to work daily, and that's where big growth happens.
- Comparing our lives will never help us build the life that we want, it will only keep us from building the future we deserve. When you drop the comparison and live in your own life, you find in conversation with others that your life has much more to offer than you thought because you were distracted by the allure of another person's journey. Your perspective is the only one of its kind.
What we see is not reality -- it's only your perception of reality. Don't surround yourself with people that bring you down, but even if they do, you can choose on how you listen to them. You can know where they are coming from, and understand that you can take what is useful and let their problems be their problems.
It's beautiful to genuinely admire the journey of friends and families without the jealousy and comparisons. You should admire those around you for the things they have overcome, and respect that it looks different from anything you have accomplished. No journey should be the same. This is a beautifully orchestrated and personalized journey made just for you. Soak it in. Leave the rest behind.
We must let go of the things that are holding us back. Everything is working for you and not working against you. You have to move in faith and in what you believe. If you believe that health is important, take that step and go to the gym. If you believe in God, believe that this road will lead you to success and be willing to take it on.
It all starts with you.