You Don't Have to Settle
When I say that you will break your heart I want to be clear that I am not just talking about romantic relationships. I am not a romantic relationship coach anyway. I am talking more holistically. When you settle, settling leads to suffering. Period. It does not matter what it is you are settling in. Some of us are settling in our relationship, sure, but some of us are settling in our dreams, some of us are settling with our jobs or our job positions, some of us are settling in our academics, some of us are settling in who we allow in our lives as friends. It does not matter. If you settle in any area of your life then that settling will lead to suffering. I can guarantee that. All of this settling is also the perfect recipe to break your own heart.
Some of us settle because we have somehow been programmed to believe that we are not worth all that much in the first place. When we are treated poorly in our job or in our relationship we start to believe that this is all we'll ever be worthy of because we just are not all that special in the first place. This has a lot to do with us not being able to trust ourselves and find our own value. Let me tell you something right now: Your value is not up for debate. You are valuable because you were born that way. You do not earn value along the way. Your value is not negotiable or changeable or able to be taken away. When you can stop attaching your value to external things like followers on social media, how much you own, how much money you have in the bank account, or how many people hang out with you then you can start to recognize your value separate from other people. As soon as you can recognize your value and take the power to define your value away from other people then you won't be able to be walked all over by the people in your life. You will start to recognize how harsh and unkind the people in your life have been to you and it will be much easier to cut them off and burn the bridges you have to toxic people in your life.
Sometimes it is just because we are too much of a people pleaser for our own good. Sometimes people will lower themselves or their standards to keep the people around them comfortable. Let me tell you something, if the people around you aren't comfortable with you when you are showing respect to yourself, then that company isn't worth keeping. You do not have to keep toxic people in your life because you think it is the right thing to do. You need to be able to look out for yourself. Some people will tell you it is selfish to look out for yourself or to love yourself, but it isn't. It is just common sense.
It all starts with you.